I mean,come on--I have words tattoo-ed on my feet, wrist and arm. [restored, remain in my love, awakened and love]
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| my words...reminders of HIS love |
I think that is why when the concept of reading the Bible as a story told by the ultimate story teller rocked my world a bit because that is now how I was taught. That is not what I learned growing up.
I didn't know my story could fit into that big story.
About a year ago I started working as a preschool coordinator at a church and they use a curriculum called "Tru" that was born out of the church that I attend [RockHarbor]. And one of the first things I got to do last year after starting this adventure in a different side of kid's ministry was attend the Tru Gathering.
And now a year later here I am again.
And the theme of this year is all about story. Which of course is right up my alley.
Tonight in the first session before the speaker came up, the lead pastor of RockHarbor came up and was saying some encouraging words to us and then was talking about the twenty-somethings who fill the sanctuary on Sunday nights [i.e the group I am in]. And he was talking about the identity crisis filled life that we live in.
Why yes, I love being smacked in the face on a Wednesday afternoon.
He ,in the short time he spoke, talked about how my generation never had a moment to get grounded in faith, the way we were taught [or not taught the Bible] was so different. How the fact that we search for identity goes back to being little kids, goes back to our parents, what we were taught in church, etc. How we didn't really know where we fit in the story.
Seriously.
Really?
I came into today knowing I would learn something a little about myself and how I lead and why I do what I do. But this? And what was to follow? More then I realized I would be coming into.
I feel blessed that I am able to find the words to tell my story. But I can see how my story shapes the kind of Christian I am today, the kind of leader, it shapes how I see myself in this life of following Jesus.
So right then in my head, in my journal, I started thinking of key elements of my story. How I was raised. How if I wasn't raised like that I would not be the woman of God I am today.
Then the speaker (chris brown...no not THAT chris brown) came up to talk about the Gospel. And I was on the edge of my seat hearing stories I have heard and told at least a hundred times. But what struck me about hearing about the woman who touched Jesus' garment and was healed or the little girl who was raised from the dead was how much Jesus cared about each element of their story and their life.
With the woman Jesus called her "daughter" He took ownership of her. Protection of her. Love of her. Saying that word would impact how she was continually treated because of the efforts she went through to see and be known by Him.
And the little girl. When Jesus told them that they could not speak of what had happened I have never thought of really why that was. Maybe he was being humble, maybe He didn't think people could handle it.
Or maybe He knew the little girl wouldn't be able to handle it. The Chris said something slightly funny when referring to a Bible story but so poignant. He said that Jesus knew the twelve year old girl was still thinking about prom. Yes, prom. Ok probably a metaphorical prom but still.
It was noting the fact that He knew that this little girl would grow up to be the teenager who had gotten raised from the dead, the adult that had gotten raised from the dead. She would never just be her again.
He, in the moment of asking for no one to say what had happened, was protecting her story. Her life.
Wow.
I know that these people in the Bible are real, that these things did happen, but I have never thought of the continuing story. Of who these people came to be.
And I realized- they came to be His witnesses, His proclaimers, because their stories, whether people knew the whole of it or not, reflected His love and protection.
And that made me think of me as a kid.
Of the fact that I learned the Lord's prayer for the first time in an AA meeting with my mom.
Of the the struggles I had growing up that caused me to have to fight a little more.
Of the fact that I didn't grow up going to church on Sundays.
Of the fact that high school worship leading me? Did not really know His love at all.
Of the fact that I didn't really get to know Jesus on an intimate loving level until after college.
Of the fact that the only reason I didn't end it all, the only reason I still walk this earth is because He brings me hope, life and light.
My life, my story is a reflection of His love even when I am not sure who I am.
His story flows through me. I didn't and can't write it. Only He can.
So how does this come full circle in my head (because yes, you just got come serious crazy slightly off the tracks writing) How do I bring this back to the kids I work with on a daily basis?
I want to be able to give them the tools to see their story. Even at 4 and 5 to see that God is speaking into their lives. That He loves them.
I want to show them how real His story is and they can be apart of it.
And I've realized that apart of that will be showing and sharing my story with the parents I come into contact with. It's showing them how can redeem and restore even the darkest of parts of someones life. How God will chase their kids no matter what they, as parents do or don't do.
And encouraging them to jump into their own story to share with their kids.
That's a big job. But looking more into my story, my life I can see how God has prepared me for that, especially when I feel the absolute least prepared. When I don't know a Bible verse by heart, or don't remember how a really old school sunday school song goes and I feel like I shouldn't be in this field.
That's when He reminds me of His love and His spirit. And what He has brought me from and too...
So..that's part of my story. What's yours?
more to come tomorrow!
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