Course Correction

So today was my second day at the Tru Gathering...and once again my world was rocked.

I was prepared to come home and after watching the season finale of my favorite show ever (don't ask...you might judge me) I was all set to write a blog on spiritual parenting.

Yes parenting.
And no, I don't have kids.

I was so incredibly encouraged today sitting in the spiritual parenting breakout hearing the story of someone who is so invested in spiritual parenting with their church and is single. No kids. It lifted me up and reminded me that even though I have no kids of my own (let's be real...I have worked with a lot of kids) I can still find my place in the realm of spiritual parenting.

So yes.

I was completely ready to write many a word on spiritual parenting. And I still might because like I said I think it is awesome.

But what kept coming back to me was how in the afternoon we did a bit of "remember and celebrate"

Now for those of you who don't know or use Tru let me give you a bit of a backdrop. (And for even more information on all things TRU go here)

Remember & celebrate happens every 6th and 13th week in the curriculum and it is a time to go back through the prior weeks and not only go over what we have learn but to remember what God has taught us and what He has shown us. And how we fit into that picture. And then in the end to step back and celebrate what He has done.

I love that.

I love the element of celebration of showing and reminding my kiddos of what God has done.

So as an activity we each took a slip of paper that one of the ten tru environments on it.  And we took that environment (scroll down on this page to see the ten environments)

My environment was "Course Correction"

This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. instead, biblical discipline encompasses: a season of pain, a building up in love, and a vision for a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Really?

I couldn't have gotten identity...knowing...serving...loving?

Any of these I could have easily found in my story. 

But here it is "a season of pain, a building up in love"

So what is the first thing I thought of?

The day when my course, the way I went to work everyday literally got changed...corrected.

How?

I was hit by a car while on my bike.

No, really.

Prior to that fateful day in the beginning of February I was sort of running from God. He was calling me to jump. To make a huge decision. Moreso to act on said huge decision.

But I didn't want to make it real. I wanted it to stay in my head where it was much safer.

Every sermon at church hit me. The sermons that I was already scheduled to recap and blog about?

Hit me even more.

I knew I was supposed to jump. To make this decision outloud. To tell people. But I truly didn't want too.

Then on that fateful Thursday morning riding to work on pajama day(pajama day...don't even get me started on how I missed both days of pajama day) I was hit by a car.

Thank the Lord my injuries weren't horrible, but they were still pretty bad. When I finally sat up with blood covering me and shaking like crazy I burst into tears.

What had just happened?

Really God? Hadn't I had enough?

Hadn't I had enough pain in the prior three years? Enough depression, heartbreak, loss, tiredness.

Now really..a car? hitting me?

Really?

ugh.

When I got into the ambulance sobbing, not being able to stand because my ankle was sprained, not being able to see because my glasses had broken; I was angry, tired,sad. Was this a physical stopping point? Was this Him saying..move out of the path you are going down and stay where you are?

Nope. 

He has covered me with His feathers and I have found MUCH refuge under his wings

As He had been doing in the prior month, God spoke audibly.

He reminded me and showed me I was still going on my path. On the comfortable path that took the least time, that had the least waiting.

The path I knew.

He was showing me that I needed to physical move. To take a different path. To not go the way I was used to going. 

To go His way.

To stop and slow down long to see His way.

The recovering from that accident was more emotional then physical.

I've had some crazy emotional stuff happen to me in the last few years. I've gotten into pits so dark I never thought I would get out. I've looked in the mirror and thought, maybe just maybe it would be better if I was done.

But none of those things were even close to after that accident. 

I can look back now 3 months later and be ok.

I can see where that fits in the grand scheme of things.

I can celebrate how He protected me. 

And how He used that moment; That horrific day in my life to cause me to jump. Caused me to move out of the path I was on and start down one unknown and kind of scary.

So yes, I am at the conference gleaning things to take back to my church ministry and to store for future use, but I also, as I am sure so many others who are there, am also being reminded of my story and where I fit.

Because how are we to lead, nurture, encourage and help others find their place in God's story if we don't know where we are?

I am not saying I always know where I am or even who I am. But I know WHOSE I am. And I know WHERE He has been in my life and WHAT He has done for me. 

And that He LOVES me unconditionally 

And sometimes that is all I have.

But it is all I need.