I now have quite a few platforms that I write on:
My World Race blog
TruMinistry
Become Restored
Twitter-tweets.
So there are LOTS of ways that I can get my words out to the internet to the "world".
Sometimes I write and realize that whatever I just wrote has NO business being on the internet.
And sometimes there is stuff that I write just for me.
Today was one of those days of writing just for myself. I have a lot of rambling thoughts going around in my head. I have so many quotations, bible verses, that I want to analyze and attribute to my life.
I have hurts, aches, pains, joys, laughter.
And I write to get all of those out.
To remember them.
To learn from them.
In all of my thoughts, and ramblings today I found myself back on an old blog that I haven't used in awhile. It was a chronicle of some of the most tragic times in my life
BUT
the really funny thing is that there was no feeling to any of it. There was no depth. When I go back and read them, I knew I hurt- but my writing style has so developed of the years that I can't sense my emotion as much in them.
I feel like I have found my writing voice.
And I love that.
The written word is powerful and lovely.
And I want to be apart of it. I want to speak my mind, I want to articulate my thoughts.
I am so grateful for the ability to do so.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
A bit of Honesty....
I wish I was that kind of Christian.
The kind that always knew what to say.
The kind who actually always prayed for you.
I wish I was the person who always looked to God no matter what.
The one who was able to say “Praise God” when trials faced me way.
I wish I could be the girl who doesn't need a man
because I have Jesus
Wish I could be the one who never
worried about marriage
I want to be that person for you.
I wish I was the kind of Christian
who could speak empowering words of life
all the time.
I wish I was the person who never felt stupid
when she said some flippant.
I wish I was the Christian
who wasn't mean
who didn't say hurtful things
I wish I was the Christian
who reads her Bible every day
who goes to church every weekend
Who didn’t worry about the worship style,
or the fact the pastor bores me to tears
I wish I could be that Christian for you.
I wish I could be the Christian who doesn't get lazy
I wish I could be the one who doesn't constantly give up
But I’m just me.
I’m beginning to be ok with that.
But I wish I was the Christian
the person
the woman
who didn’t compare myself
To you
or you.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
words to keep
I haven't posted on here in a while since I started posting on my world race blog
but I decided to share this poem here instead.
but I decided to share this poem here instead.
I’m sorry if I don’t make sense,
if the lingo I use catches you off guard
if I look like I might tear up.
I’m walking on this tightrope-
knowing eventually I’ll have to jump off
My current life on one side-
my new adventure on the other.
time never has felt so slow
and so fast all written in the same
planner
Saying goodbye,
saying hello
learning names
copying faces
memories
love
in my heart.
I haven’t even got to January yet.
I’m trying to figure out
how to walk this line.
without feeling the heartbreak
that I know will come
from leaving the people
who make up my
life
I know it will be worth it
peaceful
joyous
my whole self
will be filled
with new family
new
memories
new dreams
But it’s hard to walk a tightrope
so forgive me if I fall a bit
<3 megs
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Here come the waterworks
Here it is folks...
The beginning of the end.
The true beginning of the end.
This morning is my last in class day for my 2 day morning class.
And there will be tears.
See I've had this decision made since at least November that it was time for me to go. Time for me to move on.
But that doesn't make it any less harder.
And let me tell you something, something I am sure any teachers can attest too.
There are a few types of classes of kids you can have through the years and I feel like in the five years at the preschool I've had them all.
But I've only had a few that are completely and utterly full of joy. Not just one or two kids that are full of joy but all of them.
One was my JK last year--the last class I worked with my sweet Emma. We were terrified at the beginning of the year when we got out first class list. Why?
Nine boys. (I don't think I need to say anything else). And those boys turned out to be the loves of my life. Every. last. one.
And another class full of joy?
This 2 day morning class.
These 3 year olds have stolen my heart with their hugs, smiles and love.
And now are breaking my heart because I am leaving them. (Which Tim has liked to point out to me every day since I told him I was leaving, especially whenever I am holding to certain little boys)
I know I will still see them around, but man, I love them so and I am bummed that I won't see them grow for the next year!
So here come the waterworks: not just for this class but for the whole lot of it.
There are kids that are in my other classes that I have known since they were babies, some even before they were even a twinkle in their parents eye.
I've been blessed to watch them grow and change. I've been able to see their hearts development for their friends, been able to watch them learn to love Jesus.
And I know leaving for a year won't completely take me out of their lives.
It justs those little hidden fears in the back of my mind.
So if you think of me in the next 9 days? Send up some prayers...I've been blessed to be at this amazing job, with this amazing family for five years and I have a feeling it's going to ache a lot to leave it.
The beginning of the end.
The true beginning of the end.
 |
| ...the big girls and the little girls in this pictures have stolen my heart... |
This morning is my last in class day for my 2 day morning class.
And there will be tears.
See I've had this decision made since at least November that it was time for me to go. Time for me to move on.
But that doesn't make it any less harder.
And let me tell you something, something I am sure any teachers can attest too.
There are a few types of classes of kids you can have through the years and I feel like in the five years at the preschool I've had them all.
But I've only had a few that are completely and utterly full of joy. Not just one or two kids that are full of joy but all of them.
One was my JK last year--the last class I worked with my sweet Emma. We were terrified at the beginning of the year when we got out first class list. Why?
Nine boys. (I don't think I need to say anything else). And those boys turned out to be the loves of my life. Every. last. one.
And another class full of joy?
This 2 day morning class.
These 3 year olds have stolen my heart with their hugs, smiles and love.
And now are breaking my heart because I am leaving them. (Which Tim has liked to point out to me every day since I told him I was leaving, especially whenever I am holding to certain little boys)
I know I will still see them around, but man, I love them so and I am bummed that I won't see them grow for the next year!
So here come the waterworks: not just for this class but for the whole lot of it.
There are kids that are in my other classes that I have known since they were babies, some even before they were even a twinkle in their parents eye.
I've been blessed to watch them grow and change. I've been able to see their hearts development for their friends, been able to watch them learn to love Jesus.
And I know leaving for a year won't completely take me out of their lives.
It justs those little hidden fears in the back of my mind.
So if you think of me in the next 9 days? Send up some prayers...I've been blessed to be at this amazing job, with this amazing family for five years and I have a feeling it's going to ache a lot to leave it.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
it all comes out in a whoosh
Whoosh.
Whats that?
That's the sound of the my breath being let out very slow.
Why's that?
I'm about to drop the news.
Potentially the biggest news of my life.
Where should I start?
The beginning...sure.
A lot of this will end up sounding familiar especially if you have read any of my sermon recaps on RockHarbor since about November-ish
So here it goes:
[and PS if you are a preschool parent who has not read the letter from me in your kiddos backpack...go look in the backpack and read it and then this blog will not shock AS much]
Back in the beginning of the fall I started to feel a nudge deep down in the depths of my soul. I started to fill a stirring.
And that stirring scared the living daylights right out of me.
I felt in that stirring God telling me that I needed to leave the preschool after this year.
What?
Huh?
This job, this place I had been since august of 07. This family that God has delicately placed around me to help me get through the hellish parts of my life the last 5 years.
Um. No.
But that yearn, that pull didn't leave.
The first sermon recap I wrote for church was on a weekend where we talked about The Call in our story of God. And as I go back and read it is there that I was discussing how I kept back to the same cross every week and where all God kept saying to me was jump.
And then the first sermon of 2012 was about standing out on a precipice...looking out on a new year and just jumping fully into God's story.
Really?
Seriously?
Talk about getting hit in the head with a metaphorical 2X4
So at this point I realized that God was seriously calling me to jump. To leap out of my comfort zone and be completely ok with NOT landing on my two feet. To jump so HE could catch me.
So I decided I was going to quit. I was going to tell my boss that I was leaving.
But..I didn't. I mean I wasn't going to leave until June anyway? So why do it now.
Then in February I got hit my a car. Click here to read about my "course correction"
So because of all that, all of the emotional mishmash of my life, in March I sat down with my boss on a Sunday and told her my heart.
"and the day came where the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom"- anais nin
And then that night at church I got hit with a heck of a lot of confirmation
Whoosh.
[that was another release of air]
And over the next month I kept telling my co-workers and kept getting so incredibly encouraged by them.
But what was I going to do next?
No idea.
In reality the opportunities were endless.
There was so much I wanted to do. Write, work at a church...go on a mission?
What?
No.
You see a lovely friend I made going on my trip to South Africa last summer told me all about this trip she went on called "the world race" 11 countries in 11 months.
And she told me I should go too.
But there was no way I could. I had a full time job, a part time job, and a life to-do list a mile long.
So I scratched that of my list. Out of my head.
Then at the end of April I randomly got an email from them [the world race] Just a newsletter.
So I clicked.
And found myself applying.
And paying an application fee.
And interviewing.
And getting accepted....
Ahem.
There is no way.
None.
Nope.
Nada.
Being overseas for 11 months? Moving out the home I have been in for over 5 years? Leaving my Orange county comfort zone where I have been for almost 10? Selling my stuff? Picking up and following God?
Sharing my heart, my story, my love of and for Jesus with families and kids and people all over the world?
Oh.
Actually...
Here's the thing:
My job right now- 6 days a week is to work with kids. My volunteer time is with kids. And I do all of it?
Because Jesus set me free. Because He saved me. He loved me.
And I want to share my heart, my joy of that, of Him with people.
"the richest testimonies comes from those who Christ has made whole but still remember what it was like to be broken"-beth moore
And in that?
I realized my answer.
So as of May 31, I put in my deposit to go on the world race.
I will be leaving in January and going to 11 different countries
Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, Romania, Ukraine, Thailand, Malaysia and Cambodia.
Whoosh.
[that's my silent nervous, terrified, ecstatic, excited release of breath]
So there it is.
God has some crazy things in store. And I can't wait for them. The next 7 months are going to hectic, sad, busy, full of fundraising, growth, au reviors and finishing some things on that Life-to-do list.
I'll be writing about it here and my world race blog [address TBA]
I have so many other things to share with you about this journey. this adventure, this season of my life.
But this blog is getting a little long.
I will be posting ways you can support my prayerfully, physically or finanically. There is a long way to go between now and January and I can't wait to see what happens!
So I will just say, feel free to message me, email me, text me with questions about whats going, ideas for fundraises or if you want me to babysit [barring the fact you live in the OC and I actually do in fact know you]
Thanks for reading all of this mess.
Thanks to those of you have prayed immensely
for both of the big decisions I have made this year.
Love you much.
Whats that?
That's the sound of the my breath being let out very slow.
Why's that?
I'm about to drop the news.
Potentially the biggest news of my life.
Where should I start?
The beginning...sure.
A lot of this will end up sounding familiar especially if you have read any of my sermon recaps on RockHarbor since about November-ish
So here it goes:
[and PS if you are a preschool parent who has not read the letter from me in your kiddos backpack...go look in the backpack and read it and then this blog will not shock AS much]
Back in the beginning of the fall I started to feel a nudge deep down in the depths of my soul. I started to fill a stirring.
And that stirring scared the living daylights right out of me.
I felt in that stirring God telling me that I needed to leave the preschool after this year.
What?
Huh?
This job, this place I had been since august of 07. This family that God has delicately placed around me to help me get through the hellish parts of my life the last 5 years.
Um. No.
But that yearn, that pull didn't leave.
The first sermon recap I wrote for church was on a weekend where we talked about The Call in our story of God. And as I go back and read it is there that I was discussing how I kept back to the same cross every week and where all God kept saying to me was jump.
And then the first sermon of 2012 was about standing out on a precipice...looking out on a new year and just jumping fully into God's story.
Really?
Seriously?
Talk about getting hit in the head with a metaphorical 2X4
So at this point I realized that God was seriously calling me to jump. To leap out of my comfort zone and be completely ok with NOT landing on my two feet. To jump so HE could catch me.
So I decided I was going to quit. I was going to tell my boss that I was leaving.
But..I didn't. I mean I wasn't going to leave until June anyway? So why do it now.
Then in February I got hit my a car. Click here to read about my "course correction"
So because of all that, all of the emotional mishmash of my life, in March I sat down with my boss on a Sunday and told her my heart.
"and the day came where the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom"- anais nin
And then that night at church I got hit with a heck of a lot of confirmation
Whoosh.
[that was another release of air]
And over the next month I kept telling my co-workers and kept getting so incredibly encouraged by them.
But what was I going to do next?
No idea.
In reality the opportunities were endless.
There was so much I wanted to do. Write, work at a church...go on a mission?
What?
No.
You see a lovely friend I made going on my trip to South Africa last summer told me all about this trip she went on called "the world race" 11 countries in 11 months.
And she told me I should go too.
But there was no way I could. I had a full time job, a part time job, and a life to-do list a mile long.
So I scratched that of my list. Out of my head.
Then at the end of April I randomly got an email from them [the world race] Just a newsletter.
So I clicked.
And found myself applying.
And paying an application fee.
And interviewing.
And getting accepted....
Ahem.
There is no way.
None.
Nope.
Nada.
Being overseas for 11 months? Moving out the home I have been in for over 5 years? Leaving my Orange county comfort zone where I have been for almost 10? Selling my stuff? Picking up and following God?
Sharing my heart, my story, my love of and for Jesus with families and kids and people all over the world?
Oh.
Actually...
Here's the thing:
My job right now- 6 days a week is to work with kids. My volunteer time is with kids. And I do all of it?
Because Jesus set me free. Because He saved me. He loved me.
And I want to share my heart, my joy of that, of Him with people.
"the richest testimonies comes from those who Christ has made whole but still remember what it was like to be broken"-beth moore
And in that?I realized my answer.
So as of May 31, I put in my deposit to go on the world race.
I will be leaving in January and going to 11 different countries
Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, Romania, Ukraine, Thailand, Malaysia and Cambodia.
Whoosh.
[that's my silent nervous, terrified, ecstatic, excited release of breath]
So there it is.
God has some crazy things in store. And I can't wait for them. The next 7 months are going to hectic, sad, busy, full of fundraising, growth, au reviors and finishing some things on that Life-to-do list.
I'll be writing about it here and my world race blog [address TBA]
I have so many other things to share with you about this journey. this adventure, this season of my life.
But this blog is getting a little long.
I will be posting ways you can support my prayerfully, physically or finanically. There is a long way to go between now and January and I can't wait to see what happens!
So I will just say, feel free to message me, email me, text me with questions about whats going, ideas for fundraises or if you want me to babysit [barring the fact you live in the OC and I actually do in fact know you]
Thanks for reading all of this mess.
Thanks to those of you have prayed immensely
for both of the big decisions I have made this year.
Love you much.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
names
Essentially I am being sentimental.
Why?
Well, birthday. end of a school year.
"a changes gonna come...oh yes it is"
So, here it is.
I have been called a lot of things in my short life.
And honestly?
Probably not all of them are nice.
Here is a list of the titles, nicknames and "things" I have been called:
Daughter
Patt's daughter
Andy's Daughter
Sue's granddaughter
Nick's little sister
Corey's little sister
only girl
youngest
annoying
fat
quiet
shy
"wa wa wa"
loud
smart
not smart enough
weird
choir kid
drama kid
christian
freshman
loud
"not liked by association"
partier--> no really
president
Dub-C
English major
music kid
vanguard kid
"vanguard" kid
childcare worker
sunday school teacher
worship leader
day camp counselor
preschool aide
preschool teacher
preschool coordinator
person who knows what they are doing when kids are involved
missionary
maid of honor
bridesmaid
godmother
wedding coordinator
baker
shopping buddy
PA
sister
soul.sister
secretive
outgoing
introvert
balanced
depressed
effecient
writer
dependable
roommate
Moses
Mega
Megs
Meglyn
mogowo
Meggers
meggles
Nomdumiso
Miss. Meghan
and so many other things.
And I look at those words.
At these things that "define" me
and I wonder what they really mean
are they really me?
They for sure make up a lot of who I am.
A lot of who I have become.
And I am so grateful for every little word on that list
without each of them
I wouldn't be who I am without each stick, stone, that has been thrown at me
without each loving endearment that has met me.
without the people in my life pouring into me.
laughing with me.
laughing at me.
my life. would be completely different.
ok this is the end of slightly sentimental meghan.
goodnight.
Why?
 |
| slightly.sentimental.meghan |
Well, birthday. end of a school year.
"a changes gonna come...oh yes it is"
So, here it is.
I have been called a lot of things in my short life.
And honestly?
Probably not all of them are nice.
Here is a list of the titles, nicknames and "things" I have been called:
Daughter
Patt's daughter
Andy's Daughter
Sue's granddaughter
Nick's little sister
Corey's little sister
only girl
youngest
annoying
fat
quiet
shy
"wa wa wa"
loud
smart
not smart enough
weird
choir kid
drama kid
christian
freshman
loud
"not liked by association"
partier--> no really
president
Dub-C
English major
music kid
vanguard kid
"vanguard" kid
childcare worker
sunday school teacher
worship leader
day camp counselor
preschool aide
preschool teacher
preschool coordinator
person who knows what they are doing when kids are involved
missionary
maid of honor
bridesmaid
godmother
wedding coordinator
baker
shopping buddy
PA
sister
soul.sister
secretive
outgoing
introvert
balanced
depressed
effecient
writer
dependable
roommate
Moses
Mega
Megs
Meglyn
mogowo
Meggers
meggles
Nomdumiso
Miss. Meghan
and so many other things.
And I look at those words.
At these things that "define" me
and I wonder what they really mean
are they really me?
They for sure make up a lot of who I am.
A lot of who I have become.
And I am so grateful for every little word on that list
without each of them
I wouldn't be who I am without each stick, stone, that has been thrown at me
without each loving endearment that has met me.
without the people in my life pouring into me.
laughing with me.
laughing at me.
my life. would be completely different.
ok this is the end of slightly sentimental meghan.
goodnight.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
26 you were a wacky ride
 |
| a theme of 26 |
and by a "bit" I mean a dump truck full of new information
and 26 was again, one of those years.
So I turn 27 on Friday.
And let me tell you guys. 27? looking to be incredibly crazy.
but nothing about that yet.
it's not public information :)
So 26.
So here is what I did. I went into my 2011 planner and started in June.
And it was crazy.
 |
| joy |
2nd year of Royal Family.
VBS
My sweet Emma leaving.
SOUTH AFRICA!
My best friends beautiful twin daughters being born.
And her asking me to be the god mother...
Life. Change.
Making some amazing new friends.
And holding on to some soul.sisters
Starting my 5th year at the preschool.
having the sweetest cutest 2-day morning class ever.
T & E = my future sons
 |
| #youknowyourareinkidsministrywhen |
Making amends and stitching together an old, dear friendship.
family thanksgiving [blue42!]
Christmas in A3
Getting continually rocked at church.
Writing regularly for my church blog
And then the 2012 portion of 26.
january..doo-doo-doo...
February.
Ahem.
yah. about that.
I no longer like February 9th.
Getting hit by a car. Let's be real. Life changed. Life repositioned.
Really and truly starting to listen to God's voice.
getting slapped in the face repeatedly by His word at church.
story of God sermon series
being of a different spirit
the battle for more
[ps. #ilovemychurch]
Cousin adventures. [x2]
OC Family adventures
Big bear. stuck in the snow.
nature.
first 5K color.run
 |
| colorrun |
ZUMBA [need I say more?]
realizing that I am in fact trendy.
skinny jeans. toms. 31 bits.
did I mention the skinny jeans were brightly colored?
Huge life decisions [see blog not posted about 27. look for it this weekend]
finding my groove in what God has called me to do.
and so many other things that I don't have the words to articulate
joy.heartbreak.growth.love.light.hurt.pain.thankfulness.family.pinterest.blogging.biking.kiddos.friends.Jesus.
26
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