A bit of Honesty....

I wish I was that kind of Christian.

The kind that always knew what to say.

The kind who actually always prayed for you.

I wish I was the person who always looked to God no matter what.

The one who was able to say “Praise God” when trials faced me way.

I wish I could be the girl who doesn't need a man

because I have Jesus 

Wish I could be the one who never 

worried about marriage

I want to be that person for you.

I wish I was the kind of Christian 

who could speak empowering words of life

all the time.

I wish I was the person who never felt stupid

when she said some flippant. 

I wish I was the Christian

who wasn't mean

who didn't say hurtful things

I wish I was the Christian

who reads her Bible every day

who goes to church every weekend

Who didn’t worry about the worship style,

or the fact the pastor bores me to tears

I wish I could be that Christian for you.

I wish I could be the Christian who doesn't get lazy

I wish I could be the one who doesn't constantly give up

But I’m just me.

I’m beginning to be ok with that.

But I wish I was the Christian

the person

the woman

who didn’t compare myself 

To you

or you.